[To clarify, this post isn’t making fun of Jessica, or meant to be rude to her. I just wanted to see how you guys felt about a code of comments on blogs. There are plenty of fashion blogs without an area to comment, but this is the first on that I’ve been reading where it’s happened a the same time.]
Late last year, Jessica, of What I Wore, posted a code of comments for her blog. There was a lot of discussion for and against her, she lost some readers and others just told her to ignore it and get a thicker skin.
I think we all thought that was the end of the discussion.
On Tuesday Jessica wrote another post about trolls, meanies and complainers asking why people feel the need to be rude. This one got TONS of comments. [edit: Jessica has since removed commenting from her blog] This is what I wrote:
“I have my own fashion blog. I’ve had a few trolls, and while I have my comments post based on my approval, I really don’t care. I don’t want people to be rude to me, but I find it kinda funny that someone went through my whole post and hated it so much that they decided to leave me a message. But, I’ve only been blogging for a year or so. I haven’t been doing it as long as some other people have, so maybe I haven’t built up my troll base yet, lol.
I guess I just have a thicker skin than most and I just don’t give a damn. I’ve never really had friends, I’ve never been anything other than myself. I’ve always been made fun of for what I wore and what I like, and I wouldn’t want it any other way.
That being said, I love it when people tell me how they would’ve worn something different. I love it when I get a comment saying, “I love the sweater but I’d wear it with grey pants instead of that skirt.” The commenter isn’t being rude, they’re just showing me their style.”
I’d like to elaborate on that comment a little, so I can explain more of what I mean. I think the first part speaks for itself. I have received a few not-so-nice comments, but when it gets down to it, I’m doing this for me. I’m taking a photo of myself for me, not for anyone else. I love feedback on my outfits, but I’m not about to change the way I dress because someone thinks I look like I’m wearing a trash bag skirt (I still love that skirt).
The second part I talk about not really having friends, which is true. When I was in middle school, high school and even college, I was very much alone. I always had Cher, which was great, but I didn’t have a big group of friends. I was a little too odd, a little too weird and very much myself. Senior year of high school was complete hell for me. My ‘friends’ weren’t treating me as such and it made me realize I’m really the only one who has my back. That was also when I was very much into wearing my mom’s old t-shirts and would get made fun of to no end about it.
That was when I stopped caring. Sure, there will always be a part of me that wants to fit in, but if I really care would I have dyed my hair bright pink, red or purple? Would I be willing to wear printed tights to an office job where most other people are REALLY conservative?
So, when I say I don’t give a damn, I mean it. And I really think that’s how most people should feel. We aren’t the same, we don’t have the same interests, ideas or personalities. If I wear something one way, but you’d wear it different, tell me. I think that’s awesome! But that’s the point of all this, isn’t it? To show who we are to the rest of the world (or whoever might be reading it) and get a little insight into who they are. If people want to write something mean, or rude, they’re going to. The internet allows people to be anonymous and say things they probably wouldn’t actually say in public. I don’t think I’d ever run up to someone on the street and say “great shoes! You look amazing!” but I would leave that as a comment for someone.
Anyway, after I posted the response, I didn’t really think anything of it. Then, I got a really cool comment on my last outfit post from another blogger who, frankly, has great fashion sense and has since been added to my blog reader:
“By the way, I found your blog through your comment on What I Wore and you saying you don’t care what people said about you or what you wear…I thought that was pretty bad ass.”
Alya of kookulai left that for me, and it made me smile. Reading through some of her more recent posts, she seems to have a similar philosophy, and the girl’s got style!!
And, for the record, I don’t have a code of comments. I can just chose to delete any mean ones I get 🙂