Code of Comments? How do you feel about it?

[To clarify, this post isn’t making fun of Jessica, or meant to be rude to her. I just wanted to see how you guys felt about a code of comments on blogs.  There are plenty of fashion blogs without an area to comment, but this is the first on that I’ve been reading where it’s happened a the same time.]

Late last year, Jessica, of What I Wore, posted a code of comments for her blog. There was a lot of discussion for and against her, she lost some readers and others just told her to ignore it and get a thicker skin.

I think we all thought that was the end of the discussion.

On Tuesday Jessica wrote another post about trolls, meanies and complainers asking why people feel the need to be rude. This one got TONS of comments. [edit: Jessica has since removed commenting from her blog] This is what I wrote:

“I have my own fashion blog. I’ve had a few trolls, and while I have my comments post based on my approval, I really don’t care. I don’t want people to be rude to me, but I find it kinda funny that someone went through my whole post and hated it so much that they decided to leave me a message. But, I’ve only been blogging for a year or so. I haven’t been doing it as long as some other people have, so maybe I haven’t built up my troll base yet, lol.

I guess I just have a thicker skin than most and I just don’t give a damn. I’ve never really had friends, I’ve never been anything other than myself. I’ve always been made fun of for what I wore and what I like, and I wouldn’t want it any other way.

 

That being said, I love it when people tell me how they would’ve worn something different. I love it when I get a comment saying, “I love the sweater but I’d wear it with grey pants instead of that skirt.” The commenter isn’t being rude, they’re just showing me their style.”

I’d like to elaborate on that comment a little, so I can explain more of what I mean. I think the first part speaks for itself.  I have received a few not-so-nice comments, but when it gets down to it, I’m doing this for me. I’m taking a photo of myself for me, not for anyone else. I love feedback on my outfits, but I’m not about to change the way I dress because someone thinks I look like I’m wearing a trash bag skirt (I still love that skirt).

The second part I talk about not really having friends, which is true. When I was in middle school, high school and even college, I was very much alone. I always had Cher, which was great, but I didn’t have a big group of friends. I was a little too odd, a little too weird and very much myself. Senior year of high school was complete hell for me. My ‘friends’ weren’t treating me as such and it made me realize I’m really the only one who has my back. That was also when I was very much into wearing my mom’s old t-shirts and would get made fun of to no end about it.

That was when I stopped caring. Sure, there will always be a part of me that wants to fit in, but if I really care would I have dyed my hair bright pink, red or purple? Would I be willing to wear printed tights to an office job where most other people are REALLY conservative?

No.

So, when I say I don’t give a damn, I mean it. And I really think that’s how most people should feel. We aren’t the same, we don’t have the same interests, ideas or personalities. If I wear something one way, but you’d wear it different, tell me. I think that’s awesome! But that’s the point of all this, isn’t it? To show who we are to the rest of the world (or whoever might be reading it) and get a little insight into who they are. If people want to write something mean, or rude, they’re going to. The internet allows people to be anonymous and say things they probably wouldn’t actually say in public. I don’t think I’d ever run up to someone on the street and say “great shoes! You look amazing!” but I would leave that as a comment for someone.

Anyway, after I posted the response, I didn’t really think anything of it. Then, I got a really cool comment on my last outfit post from another blogger who, frankly, has great fashion sense and has since been added to my blog reader:

“By the way, I found your blog through your comment on What I Wore and you saying you don’t care what people said about you or what you wear…I thought that was pretty bad ass.”

Alya of kookulai left that for me, and it made me smile. Reading through some of her more recent posts, she seems to have a similar philosophy, and the girl’s got style!!

And, for the record, I don’t have a code of comments. I can just chose to delete any mean ones I get 🙂

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8 thoughts on “Code of Comments? How do you feel about it?

    • Oh, I know 🙂 LOL. I just think Jessica needs to realize that haters are gonna hate, no matter what she does. She can either deal with it, or remove commenting like Jane did at Sea of Shoes.

  1. Thank you for the shout out! I really connected with what you said, and quite honestly don’t see why someone so successful, like Jessica, would get so worked up about random comments left over the internet.

    It makes me wonder how sensitive she and other people who delete their comment sections are in real life. I mean, my God, how do they function? I don’t mean to sound harsh but the reality is there are rude people everywhere – whether it be the person who doesn’t hold the door for you even though you’re right behind them or someone flat out insulting you – and you can’t mandate they change their behavior.

    • Of course! Your blog is awesome, by the way! I don’t understand it either, but maybe she’s not used to people being rude to her? I don’t know much about her, and I certainly don’t want to judge or assume anything, but if you’re used to being a pretty girl and everything being unicorns and butterflies around you, maybe you don’t understand when people are rude. Some people like to be rude to get a rise out of someone else. It’s a weird little game that I’ve watched people play. When you give into the game, as I feel Jessica, and other bloggers, have, the haters win. That’s what they want to see. They want to see you have a reaction to their comments and removing the ability for everyone to comment is their prize.

      I don’t think you’re being harsh at all, and I totally agree. Life is full of rude people. Everyone can’t be nice all the time. If you’re not willing to subject yourself to ridicule, then don’t post photos of yourself online.

      I love seeing what other people similar in age to me are wearing. I leave comments because I want them to know that they look awesome, or they put something together in a way I’d never thought of. But, I wouldn’t leave anyone a rude comment.
      I do agree with her that there is a line between constructive criticism and rudeness, but it’s such a fine line, and so different for everyone, that all you can do is ignore the rudeness.

  2. Sheesh, some people should just mind their own business. I don’t like haters too (but I’m not a hater, lol I’ve never been one). I don’t see anything good regarding their existence.

    As for you, I don’t really think you dress up weird or something. As a matter of fact, I think you’re cool. I like your I-don’t-care attitude. 🙂 You can’t please everyone, so why don’t you just do the things you love and have some people with the same interest as you accept you for who you are. At least you’re making yourself happy and the people who loves you happy too. ^^

    Tons of friends is nothing if they don’t really accept you… a smaller group of “real” friends is better. 🙂 As long as you’re not doing anything wrong or offensive, then you’re on the right track.

    Keep it up! ^^ I’m really loving your blog. It gives me great fashion ideas because I kinda lack on that part. XD Having haters on your blog means you’re getting popular too… XD You’re getting their attention and you even have them take time to leave comments. XD

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