I don’t like how I look in pictures. I either smile weird or I make a funny face.
I’m also a little too pale for most people to appreciate.
(this wasn’t edited at all- this was taken without a flash, in my apartment. This is how pale I really am.)
I usually hide from photos, and hide my face. My family is lucky I let them get away with the photos they have of me. Most photos my husband has are of us squashing our faces together, because he feels the same I do, but for different reasons. He just hates the camera. I hate having a digital image of what I look like. I missed a whole chunk of college when I had red, pink or purple hair because I was hiding from the camera. I had the colors for a good 5 or 6 months, and have NO pictures of that moment in my life. And that makes me a little sad, because that was when I first met my now-husband. When he met me, I have long (I mean elbow-length) blond hair. Three days later, I’d gone Mod Squad on him. Three days after that, I went fire-engine red.
I tend to dislike photos because I’ve always had terrible skin. No, I’m not going to post photos of my skin, that’s a little gross. I think it helps that I’m pale, so any new red bump is immediately seen. I also have sensitive skin, that is oily! I have the evil trifecta of skin. So I tend to hide. I’d rather be the one behind the lens, and usually I am. Except when I want to post photos of my super cute outfits. That’s why I usually only post the polyvore depiction of what I wore. I don’t want to show my face, and it’s a little easier. My husband thinks it’s a little odd to take a photo of myself and post it online for the world to see. I say bug off. But, alas, we find ourselves at an impasse. This is usually the moment when I refuse to give him control over the laptop and he refuses to give me control over the TV. Then we sit in silence and glare at each other.
But I digress.
I think the reason I’m getting more into fashion is because:
#1. I don’t want to wear just jeans and t-shirts anymore.
#2. I can’t wear jeans and t-shirts to work.
#3. It’s fun!
#4. I blame my sister. ( I can hear her saying “YOU’RE WELCOME”)
#5. Why not?
Besides all that, it’s because if I wear a cool shirt and necklace people are less likely to notice these damn breakouts I can’t seem to fight off.
What else can I do? I’ve tried almost everything! Proactive didn’t work. Store-brand stuff didn’t work. Anything too harsh makes it worse. I don’t enjoy lotions and toners and five million steps. Plus, Meatloafy likes to lick off the medicine while I’m sleeping. Yes. I know the for a fact because I woke up with her on my chest, licking acne cream off my face. It was a little weird.
What else can I do? What else can I try? I’m 24-years-old and have been suffering since I was 12. I had pimples on my wedding day for Christ’s sake!
Please help me.