A little bit of self-reflection, a whole lotta attitude.

I don’t like how I look in pictures. I either smile weird or I make a funny face.

I’m also a little too pale for most people to appreciate.
 (this wasn’t edited at all- this was taken without a flash, in my apartment. This is how pale I really am.)
I usually hide from photos, and hide my face. My family is lucky I let them get away with the photos they have of me. Most photos my husband has are of us squashing our faces together, because he feels the same I do, but for different reasons. He just hates the camera. I hate having a digital image of what I look like. I missed a whole chunk of college when I had red, pink or purple hair because I was hiding from the camera. I had the colors for a good 5 or 6 months, and have NO pictures of that moment in my life. And that makes me a little sad, because that was when I first met my now-husband. When he met me, I have long (I mean elbow-length) blond hair. Three days later, I’d gone Mod Squad on him. Three days after that, I went fire-engine red.

I tend to dislike photos because I’ve always had terrible skin. No, I’m not going to post photos of my skin, that’s a little gross. I think it helps that I’m pale, so any new red bump is immediately seen. I also have sensitive skin, that is oily! I have the evil trifecta of skin. So I tend to hide. I’d rather be the one behind the lens, and usually I am. Except when I want to post photos of my super cute outfits. That’s why I usually only post the polyvore depiction of what I wore. I don’t want to show my face, and it’s a little easier. My husband thinks it’s a little odd to take a photo of myself and post it online for the world to see. I say bug off. But, alas, we find ourselves at an impasse. This is usually the moment when I refuse to give him control over the laptop and he refuses to give me control over the TV. Then we sit in silence and glare at each other.

But I digress.

 I think the reason I’m getting more into fashion is because:
#1. I don’t want to wear just jeans and t-shirts anymore.
#2. I can’t wear jeans and t-shirts to work.
#3. It’s fun!
#4. I blame my sister. ( I can hear her saying “YOU’RE WELCOME”)
#5. Why not?

Besides all that, it’s because if I wear a cool shirt and necklace people are less likely to notice these damn breakouts I can’t seem to fight off.

What else can I do? I’ve tried almost everything! Proactive didn’t work. Store-brand stuff didn’t work. Anything too harsh makes it worse. I don’t enjoy lotions and toners and five million steps. Plus, Meatloafy likes to lick off the medicine while I’m sleeping. Yes. I know the for a fact because I woke up with her on my chest, licking acne cream off my face. It was a little weird.

What else can I do? What else can I try? I’m 24-years-old and have been suffering since I was 12. I had pimples on my wedding day for Christ’s sake!

Please help me.


2 thoughts on “A little bit of self-reflection, a whole lotta attitude.

  1. I think your skin looks fine. Go back to the basics, and work your way up. Use a simple soap, like Dove, and use it for two weeks, solid, and then see if it does what you want. If not, then get someone tougher. If all else fails, go to a dermatologist. This is why they have jobs! 🙂

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