Do I HAVE to name this post?

I don’t want to give this post a name. It’s not really about anything, but it’s kinda about everything. I hated high school. Not necessarily the people in it, although there were people there that I could care less to ever speak to again. It was just terrible. Sure, I had some friends. But I also had (at least) one friend who actually hated me, but pretended to like me. I still don’t know why she did that. I also had some friends that weren’t really very good friends- they were nice to me, probably because I was friends with their friends, and so on. But it just sucked. It wasn’t my favorite time of my life, it wasn’t anything I’d ever want to relive.
I was always getting made fun of, for my clothes (god forbid someone DOESN’T wear A&F everyday) or for my taste of music (punk rock anyone?) or for reading a book instead of going to a party.
I never drank anything in high school. Hell- I never even made it to a party (not that I was even invited). It wasn’t until I was in college that I actually felt more like I belonged.
I could read a book and not get weird stares. I could blare MXPX and not have people look at me like I was crazy. I could be myself, weird obsessions and all, and not get laughed at.
It was in college that I met Joe. He’s just as odd as I am, and sometimes I feel like we even bring it out in each other. Thankfully, my sister has begun to show me the ways of fashion, because otherwise I’d be wearing band t-shirts under my suit jackets, and that’s not very good to do!
I also realized I wanted to have something to do with design in college. I received a copy of Photoshop and became obsessed. I’ve been making weird things ever sense. I would love to be a professional designer and get to stare at photoshop, indesign and illustrator all day. That would amazing.
I still hate remembering high school though. Senior year was the worst. The girl that hated me, oh, let’s just call her by her name, I don’t care – Elaina, was in my French class. She, Kristen, Emily and Courtney (my other friends) had this notebook they’d write notes in a pass back and forth. I wasn’t allowed to join in. They’d also all hang out together after school, and leave me out. I couldn’t wait to graduate. I was DONE at that point. I still talk to Emily and Kristen- Courtney and I lost touch (which is sad, because she was cool). I don’t talk to Elaina, and I doubt I ever will. I went through too many years of thinking she was my friend, only to find out I was mistaken.
I don’t have many friends now, but the few I do have I know I can count on. It’s not how many friends you have, it’s how good the few are.
I’m sick of being friends with people that are all about THEM. If I need to talk to you, and you won’t answer your phone because you don’t want to hear me bitch- you’re not my friend. I’ve answered the phone at midnight, after I was asleep because I knew someone needed to talk. I’ve gotten out of bed, and driven to pick up a friend, because they needed me to. I’ve listened to people cry about this and that.
But when I needed them, when I really needed someone there for me- they weren’t. That’s not a friend. And I’m done with that kind of crap.


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